Hunt down your favorite label of rye, and keep an extra bottle in your cabinet. Due to market forces beyond our control, the great whiskey drought of the 2010’s will soon be upon us. I know what you’re thinking: Is this how the apocalypse arrives? Peter Venkman probably articulated the magnitude of this news better than anyone:
But… There is some good that will come from all this. If you happen to know a hipster liberal who looks down their nose at you, because they’re too busy sipping some obscure brand of whiskey, you might be able to conduct a little impromptu economics lesson. You might even be able to convince them that free markets are not about big-business or big profits (well… not entirely), they’re just democracy in action.
So next time you’re out at the bar, or tipping back a Templeton Old Fashioned with your Don Drapper wannabe liberal buddy (doesn’t he know Don’s a registered Republican?), whip out the headline conversation starter: “This stuff might be hard to get soon…”
Don’t get discouraged when they initially blame George Bush. It’s just a knee jerk reaction, because they assume what follows will be a rant against Democrat policies, or “big-government”. So now is when you get to surprise them by simply taking a sip of your drink, and casually blaming “big business”.
Such an utterance could yield a variety of reactions: They might quizzically raise an eyebrow, they might simply nod in smug approval of your words, or they might break out into a spontaneous Occupy Wall Street rally. Regardless of their reaction, this is exactly when you want to explain why the big-bad-businesses are about to take whiskey away from the proletariat. (Yeah… You can use that. They’ll love it.)
Michael Schaus is a talk radio host, the Associate Editor for Townhall Finance, and the executive producer for Ransom Notes Radio. He is a writer, artist, and political humorist. Having worked in a wide range of industries (including construction, journalism, and financial services) his perspectives and world views are forged with a deep understanding of what it means to be an American conservative. Visit RightWingImage.com for more from Michael.