John Ransom

There is so much wrong with the following story that like other great art that imitates life, I think I’ll let the story mostly speak for itself…and many of the ills of society in general.

So, stop me if you heard this one….

Two lesbians put up an ad on Craigslist looking for a sperm donor.

This is not in dispute.

They put up an ad on Craigslist looking for sperm, like sperm are a couch or a T.V. or those old worthless beanie babies your haggard aunt collected.

In response to the ad, one William Marotta, who apparently thinks of his sperm as a couch or a T.V. or those old worthless beanie babies his haggard aunt collected, was subsequently chosen as the "donor"-- a.k.a. the father in olden times parlance.

Marotta it turns out “donated” sperm three times, according to the birth mother, who subsequently “used a syringe to inseminate.”

These facts are not in dispute.

And do you know what?

A child was born. A daughter to be exact, although labeling her as a daughter is rather old fashioned of me.

Nevertheless, the child is a daughter whose parents are one William Marotta, willing victim and father, and Jennifer Schreiner, mother, lesbian, dupe and duper.

Turns out that there was a good reason for Schreiner and her partner, Mr. or Mrs. Schreiner, mother part deux, lesbian, dupe and duper, to use a free ad on Craigslist trolling for sperm donors and willing victims.

They did it because they're poor. They couldn't afford to pay the fees associated with artificial insemination through a doctor.

This is the part where Art takes over, the jerk.

When one is poor, one might not be able to afford a child either, which the last time I checked-- that is daily as the parent of a 16-year old-- is MUCH more expensive than artificial insemination.

So, Mrs. and Mr. Schreiner, like all good American these days, eventually applied for welfare benefits to take care of their daughter. It's only right that the Schreiners should lay off the financial duty of taking care of their daughter on you and me.

John Ransom

John Ransom’s writings on politics and finance have appeared in the Los Angeles Business Journal, the Colorado Statesman, Pajamas Media and Registered Rep Magazine amongst others. Until 9/11, Ransom worked primarily in finance as an investment executive for NYSE member firm Raymond James and Associates, JW Charles and as a new business development executive at Mutual Service Corporation. He lives in San Diego. You can follow him on twitter @bamransom.

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