Where Liberals Really Suck Eggs

John Ransom
Posted: Apr 29, 2012 12:01 AM

Longball38884 wrote: Won't it be great when the department of pregnancy can tie down every woman and force her to have her monthly ultra sound to PROVE she's not even thinking of having an abortion? -Another Excuse from Both Ways Barack

Dear Comrade Oddball,

There is only one party dumb enough to start a Department of Pregnancy and it’s not the GOP. 

How exactly would an “ultrasound” prove what a woman is thinking? Like most liberals, I think you are confused a bit by a woman’s biology. That part doesn’t do a woman’s thinking for her.

I know liberals tend to think that women are just uteruses who vote, but, again, you are wrong.

Talk about denigrating women.

The bigger point is, and it’s most telling, is that in an article detailing the economic war that Obama is waging on everyone, including women, you are desperate to change the subject from the economy and jobs to something, anything, else.

Good luck with that. It seems to be working out pretty well for Romney.

Soon Obama will be one of only two people who lost to Romney in a one-on-one race.  

Doctor Roy wrote: You are tripping. No matter who is elected not one of your wish list items will be enacted. It will be business as usual. The only thing that will change if Romney is elected is a slight change in who gets greased. -Another Excuse from Both Ways Barack

Dear Comrade Doctor,

Not really.

As usual, now that your Moses has failed to deliver the promised-land, you are whipping out the “both parties are the same,” excuse.

I thought the halos in the AP photos of Obama were genuine because he was so different.  

There was a lot not to like about the George Bush administration, but come on: This is easily the worst administration in the history of the country. They tie themselves in knots daily trying to redefine what they did, what they said, what they mean to do.

Here’s a an example: Just weeks after denying the Keystone permit, Obama’s down in Oklahoma for a photo op on the part of the Keystone pipeline that the administration can’t stop.

Voters aren’t THAT stupid.

That was Obama’s “read my lips” moment. He’s done, over, finis, history, toast.   

And here are some things that a Romney administration will do:

1) Repeal Dodd-Frank and fix the too-big to fail banking issue;

2) Get rid of the record red-tape enacted by the Obama administration that its own Small Business Administration says costs $1.75 trillion before Dodd-Frank and Obamacare;

3) Prevent the appointment of Eric Holder to the Supreme Court in a second Obama term; 4) Replace Obamacare with free market reforms aimed at getting the federal government out of the healthcare business.    

Mac287 wrote: Poor Bush...it is not all his fault that he was used by the real powers behind the throne. Please don't ask me who they are...if I knew, I'd say so...but you may want to ask Karl Rove...he probably does know. -Another Excuse from Both Ways Barack

Dear Comrade 287,

Could you learn how to use the spacebar? Seriously. You’re not e.e. cummings. Correct punctuation makes you look more learned.

Karl Rove doesn’t know who the powers beyond the throne are either.

We generally have that meeting on Wednesdays at Chili’s, and that’s the night that Karl’s model airplane club meets at his house. So he’s never been able to come to those meetings.

Haven’t you ever wondered why a restaurant like Chili’s, which has really mediocre food, has so many locations?

ML wrote: You are an idiot--and that's a moniker that I reserve for very few in my life. Your attempt at melodrama is immature, at best, and I would prefer you try straight reporting of political events that would actually help move our country forward. - Ezra Klein and the High Priests Channel Obama the Divine

Dear ML,

You’re a charmer, aren’t you? I bet dudes are just lining up to hear your sweet talking uterus. I mean the dudes who aren’t idiots.

By the way, how much are you wasting, err, donating to Obama this year? Please donate the maximum. It will give me a great chuckle come November.

Another green investment declaring bankruptcy. 

gfafblifr wrote: I would once again remind everyone that Ezra Klein was a high member of a group called Journolist which was a group of journalists(?) who gathered together to support the election of Obama by slanting articles to Obama's benefit. It seems the group disbanded but the members still work to support the one. - Ezra Klein and the High Priests Channel Obama the Divine

Dear 1G,

Ezra Klein is a shill for the technocrats who write 3,000 page bills because they: 1) want to hide stuff from us; 2) because they want to make everything so complicated that only technocrats can pretend to understand.

Do you notice that the fall back argument that these folks make- on both the right and the left too- is that the rest of us are too stupid to understand things like global warming, monetary policy, Obamacare?

Most of Klein’s work is devoted to making sure that he represents the inside Washington point of view. He was the creator of Journolist, not just a member. He controlled who was included and who was not.

30 years ago, the creation of such a society would have gotten Klein fired from any self-respecting news organization. Today it gets him a promotion.

That’s why organizations like Townhall and Townhall Finance exist.

We just make money at it, and they keep declaring bankruptcy.   

Dbrown wrote:  That cannot be true. The party of No has either voted no or filibuster Obama at every turn. In rare instances when they vote with him, he has had to compromise and the republicans shrewd as they are always get 90% of what they want and Obama only 10% . That is precisely the reason change has been slow. Obama needs a cooperative congress like Reagan had who put the country ahead of party. - Ezra Klein and the High Priests Channel Obama the Divine

Dear Comrade D,

I don’t know what planet you live on, but here on earth, in a place called Washington, DC, there exists a concept known as gridlock.

Gridlock is where neither party really gets what it wants. It’s generally a transitional phase from one party being in power to another party being in power. It’s generally the result of one party overreaching and scaring the heck out of the voters with their radical, impractical, and wholly corrupt ideas. So of course, it’s usually the result of liberal policies.

And yes, I’m looking at you Nancy Pelosi.

This transitional phase of gridlock usually has the party that recently lost power doubling down on the stupid policies that lost them the majority in the first place. Policies that might qualify as “stupid”- and I used the term “stupid” here in the technical sense as being devoid of any intellectual, practical or economic merit, not the personal sense that I would say with describing Jimmy Carter- are Obamacare, Fast and Furious, Cap and Tax, MACT, Dodd-Frank and the Muslim Birtherhood.  ;-)    

Canetoad wrote: Conservatives are so gullible, just like when you believed the tobacco companies when they told you the science was wrong and cigarettes couldn't possibly cause lung cancer, or when Hardie Bros assured us that asbestos was totally safe. Vested interests have no problems with lying and obfuscation if they are trying to protect their bottom line.

Dear Comrade Mr. Toad,

Loved your Wild Ride at Disney when I was a kid. Too bad you went commie. Walt would be upset.

Anywho…You are correct that vested interests have a way of lying to protect their interests.

Knowing that, why in the heck would you vest so much power in the federal government and thereby ensure that the federales continue to lie about an increasing number of things?

Here’s where liberals really suck eggs. They assume that vested interests in corporations are evil and those vested in the government are benign.

At least with corporate interests the public has some recourse. In the examples you mentioned companies have paid out literally billions of dollars in fines and settlements.

When is the federal government going to pay for Fast and Furious? How long did it take for the government to admit that they conducted experiments regarding radiation on our own troops? How long did it take for the government to admit that Agent Orange causes cancer? Why the heck are you willing to turn over everything from the house you buy-FHA-, the car you drive- the EPA/GM-, the education your kids get, your healthcare and your banks, just to name a few to a government that can’t even be honest with us about simple things.

It’s this easy: If you trust the government, go ahead, be a liberal. If you don’t, you’re a conservative, but just don’t know it.   

DG wrote: Memo to John Ransom ....


Did you paint your roof white, yet?




Sec. Chu

-Lie, Cheat, Steal: Save the Planet!

Dear Mr. Secretary,

No, I have not yet painted my roof white.

The paint I bought for the job was declared an environmental hazard because it contained milk-products and was therefore regulated by the EPA as an oil. The brush I wanted to use contained some horsehair and therefore was confiscated by the Department of Agriculture as an illegal equine product. The ladder I bought was confiscated by customs agents who suspected that it contained rare, illegal hardwoods from Thailand.

When I started up my Chevy Volt, to get more paint, it burst into flames.

Because of my proximity to forest area, the Department of the Interior then cited me for open flame during a restricted season.

The EPA now has a hazmat crew out in my driveway cleaning up the lithium from the battery, now that it has been rendered somewhat safe from discharging lethal amounts of electricity into people.

And soon gas will be more expensive per gallon than paint.

Thanks so much to all you guys in the Obama administration for helping us all so much with your great ideas for better living.  

Quiet Reason wrote: I am still trying to understand the consistency of Ransom’s outrage. As I noted earlier, what Gleick did was wrong-even worse because of his previous positions on ethical issues. But isn’t hacking an email account at the CRU and then publishing private emails without permission also wrong? Yet Ransom has no problem citing “climategate” publishing a “climategate” link. -Lie, Cheat, Steal: Save the Planet!

Dear Comrade Quiet,

Hacking is hacking no matter who does it.

But there is a big difference between revealing government misconduct through the knowing manipulation of data by scientists anxious to sell an hypothesis as settled science and stealing and altering documents from a private non-for-profit- which, the last time I checked, still had the right of free-speech and therefore a right to their own  opinion.  

I applaud the Heartland folks for coming up with educational material that challenges the establishment and their one-world-weather scheme.

Every one here should visit the site Fakegate.com and help support the work Heartland is doing.

Mac287 wrote: Shame on us...please read, "The Lorax"...nothing lasts forever. No..."Chicken Little" the sky is NOT falling...not yet, at least...but we do need to protect our earth...it's where we live...no need for panic- passion on either side. Just need to strike a balance which is so hard to do with everyone being in separate "camps"...how I wish that could/would change and folks would stop doing all they can do to keep the animosity alive. -So Fake It’s Real: Global Warming is Reality TV for the Media Elite

Dear Comrade 287,

For not the first time, nor the last, you’ve made a two-fer on the email-hate mail column.


You are right. Nothing lasts forever. That’s why the father of Global Warming science has recently apologized to the rest of us for being an alarmist and for being wwwwrong about global warming.

“James Lovelock, the maverick scientist who became a guru to the environmental movement with his ‘Gaia’ theory of the Earth as a single organism,” reported MSNBC, “has admitted to being ‘alarmist’ about climate change and says other environmental commentators, such as Al Gore, were too.”

MSNBC Continues:

As “an independent and a loner,” he said he did not mind saying “All right, I made a mistake.” He claimed a university or government scientist might fear an admission of a mistake would lead to the loss of funding.

Lovelock -- who has previously worked with NASA and discovered the presence of harmful chemicals (CFCs) in the atmosphere but not their effect on the ozone layer -- stressed that humanity should still “do our best to cut back on fossil fuel burning” and try to adapt to the coming changes.

Peter Stott, head of climate monitoring and attribution at the U.K.’s respected Met Office Hadley Centre, agreed Lovelock had been too alarmist with claims about people having to live in the Arctic by 2100.

And he also agreed with Lovelock that the rate of warming in recent years had been less than expected by the climate models.

So much for settled science; when will enviros admit they don’t know what they are talking about?  

Joe on St Croix wrote: In College Physics we were taught that if a theory can't be disproved then it is invalid. That was a long time ago. I would like to propose that we now say: " If a theory can't be disproved, then it is Global Warming". One might also add that it is George Bush's fault. -So Fake It’s Real: Global Warming is Reality TV for the Media Elite

Dear Joe-

You said it man. That’s why these guys are all on scientific thin ice.

The biggest mistake that global warming advocates have made is in trying to foist it off as settled science. They haven’t made one prediction in twenty years that has turned out to be right.  

AliveinHim wrote: Because of oil, we've cleaned up our act (we are the cleanest country in the world) and made life easier and more efficient. We're dancing on our forefathers' graves-because thanks to oil we're living better and longer lives. -On Earth Day, I Expanded My Carbon Footprint

Dear Alive,

Petroleum is one of the most versatile, coolest natural resources ever discovered. One barrel of oil creates 19 gallons (more or less) of gasoline. The rest of it goes into over 6,000 other products, including computers, CDs, DVDs, cell phones, pain relievers and vitamins, just to name a few.    

There was a time when the Texas oilman was symbolic of both all that was right and perhaps a little of what was wrong with America. The composite picture, even with the faults, was not unattractive because it represented the vitality of American industry and entrepreneurship.

It told us that anyone mining a salt mound in Texas could discover a great industry, if given the opportunity, a suitable pair of long boots and a cowboy hat.

Today, politicians don’t seem to understand the spirit that animates those Discoverers, those men who wear the longest boots and the tallest hats, at least figuratively.

An Independent Conservative wrote: I can't help but think that your latest Townhall piece must be some sort of satire. I cannot otherwise understand and individual who willingly harms the environment and consciously increases the amount of pollution they produce merely to spite a politician. It is clear from your posts that you are no environmentalist, but could you please have at least some respect for the Earth on which you depend to live, even if you are not willing to reduce your carbon footprint please refrain from deliberately increasing it. - On Earth Day, I Expanded My Carbon Footprint

Dear Comrade Independent,

I can’t help but think you don’t get out much do you?

That’s it for this week,