Beat On The Back Of The Neck

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Posted: Apr 21, 2011 12:01 AM

In my family, when you find yourself on the wrong end of a bad deal, it’s called “getting beat on the back of the neck”.

I don’t know how it started, I don’t know the origins of the saying, but it’s not uncommon for somebody in my family to look at something you purchased and say, “Boy, your neck looks red.”

Normally, it’s pretty funny… but not always.

With that being said, and Tax Day past us, I must say, my neck is feeling pretty hot right now.

The annual (and might I say unconstitutional) extrapolation of funds from those dumb enough to try to make a decent, yet non-government subsidized living.

I count myself among stupid, for many reasons…

One being that I could have collected unemployment for a year and a half instead of putting my wife and I into deep credit card and equity debt.

And while I’m proud of the fact that my wife and I have battled back…

It makes me angry that as hard as we worked to do so, there are so many people out there that don’t pay taxes, never will pay taxes and yet, somehow getting back thousands of dollars for all the write-offs they have.

It actually drives me crazy…

It also drives me crazy that my accountant wife doesn’t take my creative advice when it comes to doing our taxes, instead staying to the letter.

If you couldn’t tell by my tone, we had to pay the government this year for tax shortage…

Again.

And while I can argue the idiocy of the fact that while having no children, we are still required to pay school taxes till I’m blue in the face…

There’s nobody who’ll listen.

And while I’m thankful that we don’t have to pay as much as some…

Any amount paid in access of what we already pay on gas, food, goods, etc. – stings.

Too bad I’m not a Whaler in Alaska…

Apparently, if you can get recognized as whaling boat captain by the Alaska Eskimo Whaling Commission, you can deduct up to $10,000 a year for costs such as maintaining boats or acquiring gear for sanctioned bowhead whale hunting.

And once again, my wife and I are being penalized for our childless existence, as now the costs of breast pumps and associated supplies may be claimed if an individual’s total medical expenses exceed 7.5 percent of adjusted gross income.

It seems the only real winner in the tax sweepstakes are Eskimo whalers…

I mean, if these guys pop out a couple of kids, they could very well take home the equivalent to a healthy chunk of their annual salary.

But because I’m living here on the mainland, refuse to go fishing and don’t have any kids, I’m forced to pay.

Oh well, I guess it doesn’t pay to worry about things you have little control over…

I can only hope that my tax dollars are well spent.

I know that sounds like an oxymoron “well spent tax dollars”…

But if I’m paying, I hope that my funds go directly to an injured soldier or to a research and development firm who’s inventing bulletproof clothing to keep our boys safe.

The whole process would be a lot easier to wallow if we could a lot our tax funds, put it exactly where we’d like it go…

In fact, I might not mind paying at all.

What better way than to tell our government officials what’s important to us than to show them monetarily?

It would make one hell of a statement.