The Idiots Guide to Wealth Creation; or How to Become a United States Senator

Posted: May 24, 2014 12:01 AM

As long as one sorely needs a certain additional amount, that man isn’t rich. Seventy times seventy millions can’t make him rich, as long as his poor heart is breaking for more. I am just about rich enough to buy the least valuable horse in your stable, perhaps, but I cannot sincerely and honestly take an oath that I need any more now. And so I am rich. But you, you have got seventy millions and you need five hundred millions, and are really suffering for it. Your poverty is something appalling.—Mark Twain to Cornelius Vanderbuilt

He lies in little things, and he lies in big things.

No, I’m not talking about your local divorce lawyer, although he lies a lot too.

I’m talking about Barack H. Obama, sometimes known in liberal parts as Jesus H. Christ.

Now, before I get tons of email calling me sacrilegious because of the JHC crack, please make sure you understand this part first: The tiny email button to contact me directly is now located on the bottom left side of the page, right next to my picture.

So go ahead and email me.

Seriously. Or be funny. Or indignant.

Chef’s choice.

Back to the column: Obama promised that in solidarity with federal employees, he would take a 5 percent pay cut when federal employees were furloughed.

“Obama promised last April to take a 5 percent pay cut in ‘solidarity’ with federal employees who were furloughed as a result of the automatic budget cuts,” writes the Washington Free Beacon, “known as the sequester. The cut was meant to equate to the level of spending cuts imposed on nondefense federal agencies.”

And of course when asked about it now, the White House will neither confirm nor deny that the president made good on his promise.

A promise that would have amounted to about $20,000—a relatively small sacrifice for a multi-millionaire-- or only a third of all the welfare and entitlement benefits a person would receive who lives in Hawaii.

And while some looked at Obama as a man of promise, we know him now to be a man of broken promises.

In both little things and in big things.

And big things are what Obama’s soon to be all about.

As in big money.

No one knows exactly what Obama’s worth—at least no one not serving at a minimum security federal prison—but the best guesses are that the Obamas are worth $10-$12 million with tens of millions more dollars to be generated once Obama leaves the presidency.

On the day Obama leaves office he’ll start negotiating the largest book deal in presidential history, if he isn’t already doing it.

In fact, if I were to write The Idiots Guide to Wealth Creation in America it would be a very short book.

In fact, I will share the whole book outline, right now, trusting that you, my faithful readers, will not steal this idea before I have a chance to convince some publisher that I’m crazy.

Oh, wait, too late.

So here goes:

The Idiots Guide to Wealth Creation


First be an idiot.

Chapter One:

Next become president of the United States.


And if you can’t do that, at least be a United States Senator, which means you can skip the introduction.

I know I spoiled the ending, but truthfully we know how this ends.

Because one thing that I have noted about ex-presidents and ex-vice presidents, especially the liberal ones, is as fond as they are about ragging on the rich, they most definitely use the office they were honored by to make sure that the cash flow never ends after they leave office.

They really, really like being rich.

But here’s what sets Obama apart.

The man is already pretty rich.

But apparently he’s not rich enough to keep a $20,000 promise to the American people as he spends billions in campaign donations and trillions in federal tax dollars and chastises other people for having too much money.

Obama's like the sleazy divorce lawyer, in the great big house he can't afford, who overbills the unsuspecting client-- or in this case the taxpayer.

He lies in big things and he lies in little things.

Obama tells others that they are rich enough, yet he’s too poor to keep his promise of shared sacrifice even when it’s merely a token.

And that’s the mark of a pretty damn poor man by anyone's measure.