Back in 2013, I wrote about Phil Mickelson escaping high-tax California and moving to zero-income tax Florida.
The famed golfer grew up in California, but decided that the 2012 decision to boost the top tax rate to 13.3 percent mattered more than beautiful climate and wonderful scenery.
Needless to say, Mickelson’s not the only tax exile. Florida, Texas, Nevada, and other zero-income tax states receive a steady stream of entrepreneurs, investors, business owners, and others who are tired of California’s predatory politicians.
Gene Simmons has put his longtime Beverly Hills mansion on the market for $22 million, citing California’s “unacceptable” tax rates as the reason for his move. After 34 years at the home, the KISS rocker and his wife Shannon are heading to Washington state. …In an interview with the Wall Street Journal, Simmons explained, “California and Beverly Hills have been treating folks that create jobs badly and the tax rates are unacceptable. I work hard and pay my taxes and I don’t want to cry the Beverly Hills blues, but enough is enough.”
But I also confess that I’m amused by stories like this.
And so are the folks at America’s top site for satire, the Babylon Bee.
Here are some of their recent articles about California, starting with Governor Newsom’s plan to hinder the exodus of taxpayers.
In a move to prevent Californians from fleeing by the millions, Gavin Newsom announced a ban on gasoline automobiles this week. The law will make it so that Californians can’t drive away and escape the state in a matter of hours… “Now, they’ll have to cross the desert on foot,” Newsom said as he handed down the order. “I’ll show them, trying to flee my progressive utopia! Ha ha ha ha ha!”
The Governor apparently forgot to also ban trucks.
And U-Haul is taking advantage with a new advertising campaign.
To help meet the demand of millions of people desperately trying to escape the dark, ravaged wasteland of California, U-Haul is introducing a new product in its moving van line-up: the War Rig. These weaponized, armored moving vehicles will ensure you and your belongings stay safe during the long and perilous journey out of the state. …said local U-Haul franchise owner Glax Destroyer, who manages 12 locations in Southern California. “We brought in the War Rig to supplement our completely depleted fleet of moving vans. With everyone leaving in droves, we don’t have much left. We’re pretty much salvaging old trucks from the junkyard and then adding armor plating and mounted weapons.”
One problem, though, is that the people escaping from California bring along their bad political preferences.
Which has convinced Texas officials to impose a ban on their ability to vote.
To the relief of Texans across the state, Governor Greg Abbott has signed a law prohibiting escaping Californians from voting after they move to Texas. Experts say this will prevent the happy and prosperous slice of heaven from sliding into the endless despair and crushing poverty of leftist policy. …According to sources, emergency legislation was drafted after it was discovered that 97% of Californians favor destroying every small business on the planet and salting the earth where the businesses once stood. They also favor mandatory gay marriage and banning all country music to avoid hurting the ears of sea turtles. …Californians have marched on the state capital to demand their voting rights back, and have promised they’ll move on to Oklahoma after they finish destroying Texas.
On a serious note, there’s actually some evidence that the folks moving into Texas are more conservative than average.
P.P.P.S. Here’s some tongue-in-cheek advice for California from Walter Williams.
P.P.P.P.S. Even Bill Maher is upset about California taxes, though he hasn’t (yet) voted with his feet.