Shawn Mitchell

Noah is an absurd act of intellectual dishonesty and creedal theft. It's a middling sci-fi fantasy with a typically commanding performance by Russell Crowe in the title role. If the movie didn’t hijack a sacred story from Jews' and Christians' sacred book, I wouldn't hate it.

The problem isn’t just that Noah departs from the biblical story in about the same way the ship Titanic departed from South Hampton Port. The Santa Claus account of Christmas is closer to Luke, chapter 2, than Noah is to Genesis. The real offense is that Noah is a body switch that perverts biblical themes while blaring out pagan environmentalism in their place.

Is it fair to find that offensive? Yes. Consider the volcanic fury that would erupt from liberals and media if a conservative director (work with me—it’s a fantasy counterfactual) made a movie reimagining the Civil Rights movement. Rosa Parks is a sultry lounge singer with shares in General Motors who only wants to strike a blow against the city bus monopoly in order to promote auto ownership. Martin Luther King is a business provocateur who aims mostly to expand market opportunities for big retailers and corporate America. It’s not just that the details are invented, it’s that they offensively strip away the essence of why the towering figures are admired and beloved by millions.

Noah substitutes its atheist, environmentalist, vegan director’s world view and values for the moral themes and theological underpinnings most believers will bring to their viewing.There is nothing recognizably Judeo or Christian about “The Creator” in Noah. Indeed, there’s nothing discernibly theistic about The Creator, either. Rather, Noah is a sort of Earth Whisperer who receives promptings, maybe from Gaia the earth goddess, or hallucinations from berry tea, or perhaps just nightmares, to purge man’s awful footprint from the Earth.

Early in the film, he’s an austere action hero, scolding his son for picking a flower, pummeling and dispatching a band of bad guys who hunt animals for food, and glowering at all around him. Near the movie’s end, he’s so obsessed with saving the earth and killing off humanity, he plots to murder his unborn grandchildren and torches the raft on which his son and pregnant daughter in-law planned to escape his malice. Noah explains his “prophetic” mission thusly: "Paradise will begin again. But this time there will be no humans. The creator has judged us. Mankind must die. But all the good things will remain."

Shawn Mitchell

Shawn Mitchell was elected to Senate District 23 in the Colorado General Assembly in November of 2004. Shawn is an attorney at private practice in Denver and Adams County.