Being fed up is a first step to cutting him off.
The next step is realizing that helping too much can hurt.
"I have obviously done way more than I should have and he doesn't appreciate it," she finally admits. "My son is out of control. I thought I was helping, but he has taken my help to a whole other level."
Bingo.
She's got it. She had the answers to her own questions. You can't help your adult child grow up financially if you keep treating him or her like a child doling out an allowance with little or no expectation that he or she will manage the money well.
There is a fine line in giving financial assistance. On one side of the line, you shouldn't withhold aid because someone made bad financial decisions.
But you also can't let people -- even your children -- take advantage of your willingness to help if there is plenty of evidence in front of you that they aren't willing to change and become better money managers or contribute to their own financial well-being.
The mother thinks her son needs to leave school.
She's right. She's borrowed more than enough for an adult who isn't doing well in the classroom. Perhaps if he's forced to pay for his own tuition, he'll do what it takes to finish in less than six or seven years. When it's his financial responsibility to cover school costs, maybe he'll be more motivated.
If you are struggling with this issue, shut off the spigot. "No" can be the most powerful word in the language. Use it.