Watching the Sochi Olympic ski-runs melt beneath the feet of athletes, global warming alarmists have decided to take action. Over 100 Olympic athletes, including 85 Americans, have signed a letter that calls on the UN to take action against anthropogenic global warming… Because the palm trees that line the streets of Sochi, Russia, are clearly the result of too many SUVs on the road, and not the result of typical sub-tropical weather patterns.
“The once consistent winters that I saw as a young kid are no more, especially near my home in Vermont,” wrote US cross country skier Andrew Newell, who penned the Al-Gore-esque letter to the United Nations. Aside from the fact that Newell is basing his understanding of global weather patterns off of his 30 years of existence (only a fraction of which he has had the intellectual awareness to contemplate things such as weather fluctuations), the letter comes at a time when the US is struggling through one of its worst winters in decades. Just to put this into context: when Newell was born, the world was desperately concerned about “global cooling”… And now, as southern states struggle with an apocalyptic 2 ½ inches of snow, we’re concerned about global warming. My how things have changed!
“Snow conditions are becoming much more inconsistent, weather patterns more erratic, and what was once a topic for discussion is now reality and fact. Our climate is changing and we are losing our winters.” Newell continued. Somehow I think America’s east coast might disagree as they struggle their way through the second major snowstorm of the year.
The recently warm weather in one of Russia’s southernmost cities (yep… It got up to a sweltering 60-some-odd degrees Fahrenheit) has induced a sense of panic among disciples of Al Gore. Apparently the subtropical climate of Putin’s choice for the winter games is evidence of a global warming trend that could soon make cross-country skiing a thing of the past.
“I’m not an environmental science major, I’m not a scientist, in fact I didn’t even go to college,” Newell admitted. And now that we have established a firm grasp of the obvious, maybe we should enlighten the 30 year old skier on a few other universal truths: