Michael Schaus
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Will he pivot (again) to job creation? Will there be another major, and unattainable, goal set forth tonight? Will President Barack Obama call on Congress to “work together”? Well… Yeah. In fact, I have been told by very dependable sources, that Obama’s teleprompter will randomly jumble together “highlights” from past speeches for tonight’s State of the Union. And, assuming the word corpsmen is spelled out phonetically, everything should run smoothly.

Our cut-and-paste President is expected to underscore his desire to act imperially without the cumbersome process of representative government. He is expected to “address” the income inequality that got worse under his watch. And he’s expected to address some of the tremendous benefits of Obamacare without mentioning higher premiums, dropped coverage, or increased bureaucracy.

So, yeah… You won’t be missing a whole lot while you are catching up on Dexter-reruns rather than watching the President repeat his Orwellian promises for the umpteenth time. The truth is, you will probably find more passion and honesty from a show about a serial-killing-forensic-investigator than from the President’s teleprompter.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t take a couple jabs at it before he delivers it. So, to save you from having to watch Democrats rise to their feet more times than a Catholic congregation, I have outlined some expected highlights from this evening’s campaign State of the Union speech:

No doubt the President will address income inequality. As he campaigns before Congress and an increasingly apathetic nation, the President will insist that the poor are poor because the rich are rich. (Whatever sense that makes.) He’s also likely to address further spending on entitlement programs, because it’s pretty clear that nothing helps create wealth like plundering the wealthy to subsidize poverty.

Immigration will likely come up in the President’s redundant ramblings. Which makes complete sense when the nation is struggling to find enough work for tens of millions of unemployed American citizens… It’s pretty obvious that bringing several million more potential workers into the market will really help push our economic recovery into overdrive.

The Campaigner in Chief is also expected to delve into the topic of executive action, because working with duly elected representatives of the governed is too cumbersome for a President with weak approval ratings.

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Michael Schaus

Michael Schaus is the Associate Editor for Townhall Finance, and the Executive Producer for Ransom Notes Radio. He is a former talk show host and political activist. Having worked in fields ranging from construction to financial investment, his perspectives and world views are forged with a deep understanding of what it means to be an American.

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