stimulate the economy with a single green-jobs subsidy! He creates jobs by posting purple signs on roadsides! He brings the Free World to the brink of destruction with one remark to an outgoing Russian president! (Oops, sorry.) We thought we had seen it all, and that there were no more signs or miracles to be revealed, but now the President has mastered time travel! He has utilized the same fluid space-time continuum that manages to make George Bush responsible for all of the nation’s ills three years after his term in office to travel back in history and invent the hybrid vehicle! Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane!
It’s a crock.
In 2004, Lexus released the RX 400h a hybrid SUV. In 2012, Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood announced that President Obama was responsible for the creation of the hybrid vehicle. Specifically, the Secretary noted that hybrids probably would not have existed had it not been for the president signing the executive order for Corporate Average Fuel Economy Standards or “C.A.F.E”, which he did in 2010. LaHood also credited himself and EPA boss Lisa Jackson for doing the heavy lifting on C.A.F.E. That will have cars getting 54.4 miles per gallon by 2025. But by then the fossil fuels industry will be as extinct as the dinosaurs from which they extract their oil and anyone who can still afford a car will be zipping around in a cute little electric peanut-mobile, so who cares anyway?
For those of you who did the math and realized that 2012 minus 2004 equals 8, here is another set of numbers to crunch. Although Mr. LaHood and Ms. Jackson may be savoring the flavor of a well crafted executive order, C.A.F.E. actually has its origins in 1975. (That would 37 years ago, if you were still working on the last math problem.) It was enacted by congress after the 1973 Oil Embargo.
Apparently the Way-Back Machine in the Rose Garden can’t go back that far, but since the guys at NASA aren’t working on anything cool like space travel, maybe they can tweak it for the President. He could give Al Gore a hand coming up with the internet. Before long, the President’s name might well appear at the bottom of the Declaration of Independence, the Magna Carta, the Divine Comedy and the Collected Plays and Sonnets of Barack Obama, I mean William Shakespeare; they being important documents that would not have existed without this administration.
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