John Ransom

The great unifier, and Healer of Nations, has done it again.

Like the man He most wishes to emulate, Jesus H. Christ, Barack H. Obama is a man of peace.

Yet, in His wake He brings war.

He divides this house against itself: brother against brother, father against son and daughter against mother.

And now as His Team America, World Police gets ready to swing into action again-- now in Libya, now in the Sudan, now in Syria-- He has not forgotten the war on the Pharisees and the Scribes at home.

The all-knowing “Eye in the Sky” penetrates everything except for our thoughts.

That’s why it’s rendered on the great machinery the Republic: the dollar bill.

"The capabilities of the NSA are scary to people," the Great Healer says.

I think of it as a subtle warning from Him.

Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

How else do you explain the 2,776 intentional violations of privacy rules, civil liberties or court strictures by the NSA in the one-year period from 2011 to 2012 that the Washington Post has revealed?

The Spirit of 2776, that’s how.

That whole Bill of Rights thing was waaaay outdated anyway.

How can you take a document seriously that protects us from unlawful search and seizure- yeah, like that’s important- and ignores the real rights: like the right to free contraceptives, or the right to use a genderless bathroom, or the right to free cell phones?

Now that’s the real Spirit of 2776. 

The Great Healer of Nations has come to replace that old, white guy covenant with the new, improved covenant—it comes with unlimited minutes and WMDs on every Middle East street corner. 

It’s a multi-year contract.

The new covenant allows us to intervene-- or not—whenever He wishes—or doesn’t—in countries that pose no threat to us and have no strategic significance, while still pin-pointing our exact location, monitoring our calling patterns and-- coming soon-- auditing our tax returns for itemized deductions rather than the standard deduction that all enthusiastic supporters of the government should take.

The Apostle that loves Him most, Joe Biden, told us so:


John Ransom

John Ransom is the Finance Editor for Townhall Finance.