The long-expected announcement by Obama nominating Chicago heiress Penny Pritzker to the post of commerce secretary has helped struggling Democrats shore up support amongst a neglected class of voters: Cronies.
Under Democrats, cronies unfortunately have become victims of their good looks, immense fortunes and unlimited influence at the star-studded Obama White House.
But fortunately that victim status has gone a long way toward helping the liberal base identify with these victimized insiders who can’t help that they are rich and beautiful.
They were born that way for gosh sakes. They didn’t choose it.
Next month I expect the National Institutes of Health will announce that a generous endowment from George Soros, George Kaiser and Warren Buffet has helped identify a “rich and famous” gene; a gene that goes a long way toward establishing that cronies aren’t made, they are born.
Oh, and did I mention that the cash cronies give to progressive causes help liberals reconcile themselves to the fat cats too?
If I didn’t, I meant to.
Some people have actually gone so far as to suggest that there might be something improper about Obama approving literally billions in dollars in taxpayer loans, subsidies and outright graft to wealthy Obama campaign donors, like Prtizker.
So it’s about time that Obama does something really extravagant for this under-appreciated class of people.
After all: He owes them.
“It could just be a diabolical, cruel rumor meant to hurt Chicago residents who are proud of the first couple's $1.8 million Hyde Park Georgian Revival mansion and history in the community,” reported the liberal blog PolicyMic just seven months ago. “Several publications have hinted or stated outright that top Obama fundraiser Penny Pritzker has been orchestrating the purchase of an opulent $35 million Honolulu estate for the first couple.”
Now who wouldn’t want someone with those types of “orchestration” skills working as commerce secretary?
See, you and I? We’re suckers.
We go out and work for a living, then hire realtors, fill out long complicated mortgage applications, show income, drop our pants and do all those other humiliating things to buy our average $173,000 home.
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