John Ransom

In this they have been helped by the Large-TV Trade Association which is thoughtfully located very near our helpful federal government and writes many large checks to our helpful government officials and even employs some of their decisive spouses.

They at least understand this problem.

If we could just make a TV large enough and dazzling enough to block out all of the distractions like spouses, telephones, barking dogs and fire hazards when watching sports on Thanksgiving Day.  

Just think of the family misunderstandings we could avoid! Or just plain family members.  

It would confer many benefits to society as a whole including, but in no way limited to, not having to sleep in the utility shed in the backyard at a time when frost warnings are becoming more commonplace in my area.

I think society would be very thankful for this benefit.

I know that part of society that is made up of: 1) me; and 2) my children would be thankful at any rate.

This brings me to my last two points:

Can anyone tell me exactly how many livers a healthy male has? And where the hell is Tanzanika?

For this information, I would be truly thankful on this next Thanksgiving Day.      

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John Ransom

John Ransom is the Finance Editor for Townhall Finance.