Number of US States, Journalists, Hit New Low under Obama

John Ransom
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Posted: Oct 11, 2012 9:15 PM

The number of U.S. states reporting initial unemployment claims has dropped to a new low under Obama- and more importantly journalists have dropped to a new low as a result.

Previously physicists had predicted that journalists couldn’t get lower.

Guess what? They were wrong. 

I call it the Obama effect: No matter how crappy things are, adding Obama can make it just a little but crappier.

Only 49 of 50 states reported initial unemployment claims last week according to Labor Department economists. This has led to a predictable, yet wholly pathetic attempt by the media to say that unemployment claims have fallen to a new, four-year low even as it is suspected that the most populous state, California, didn’t report results.   

Reports the Washington Post via the AP:



“The number of Americans seeking unemployment aid plummeted last week to seasonally adjusted 339,000, the lowest level in more than four years. The sharp drop, if sustained, could signal a stronger job market. The Labor Department said Thursday that weekly applications fell by 30,000 to the fewest since February 2008. The four-week average, a less volatile measure, dropped by 11,500 to 364,000, a six-month low.”

That would be true if, say, the Mexican-American War hadn’t happened, say historians familiar with more remote parts of American history, like how many states we have in the country.

No word if journalists from the AP are busy looking for California. But here’s a hint: Point north, and then take a BIG turn to the left. 

Because, according to sources close to the situation, the war that started in 1846 between Mexico and the United States, led to American annexation of California and its subsequent formation as a state in the American Union.

Says USA Today: Claims for unemployment benefits plunge 30000!!

Reports the LATimes: New jobless claims plunge to 4 1/2-year low!!!!

Reports John Ransom: You trust these guys to get any story right????

OK, I added the extra punctuation for effect, any effect.

Pick one: Anger, laughter, disgust- all are appropriate.        

Because despite being one of the weirdest states in the country, initial unemployment claims for the country are actually incomplete without results from the West Coast Offense- offense as in really, very offensive. 

This marks the first time that the Obama administration has claimed there are only 49 states. Previously Obama has claimed the number of states to be 57. The press responded to the miscue by explaining “Our microchip implant confirms that Obama is technically correct. The Fact-o-Meter points to Completely, 100 Percent True.” 

No word yet if the Labor Department will seek to revise upward initial unemployment claims, if its later shown that there are actually 57 states.

But here’s how the president should handle this:

He should appoint a bipartisan panel of green energy experts to immediately investigate just exactly how many states there are in the union- and which ones he’ll be awarded by the Electoral College. Then he should sell off the disloyal states to some place that values free markets, like Canada or Sweden.

Last week it will be remembered that “crazy” conspiracy theorist Jack Welch, former CEO of GE and one of the country's most respected businessman, raised eyebrows amongst journalists who were then making a previous new low, when he questioned whether unemployment numbers actually dropped as reported by the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

The unemployment rate fell to below 8 percent in the largest one-month drop in unemployment since Obama got elected thanks to the greatest single month of job creation since 1983- all just weeks before ballots hit for his reelection bid.

Interestingly, an amazing 600,000 part-time jobs were created in September.

According to the AP, Jack Welch, the retired former CEO of General Electric, said on Twitter: "Unbelievable jobs numbers ... these Chicago guys will do anything ... can't debate so change numbers."

MinnPost says: Cookin' jobs numbers? Crazy talk from Jack Welch

CNN reports: Jack Welch has no clue about jobs numbers

Says CBS News: Why Jack Welch won't be missed

The Washington Post got all Saul Alinsky on Welch, even questioning his punctuation: Hey, Jack Welch: Question marks don’t help

I don’t know about whether the jobs numbers were cooked or not, but they are causing economists to scratch their heads, even if journalists are willing to swallow the numbers whole.

And judging by the distorted numbers they are willing to accept on initial jobless claims- even though they know the numbers are wrong- it looks like lots of folks will be making a new low under Obama. 

Impossible?

It’s only just begun.