Mitt Presumes to Tell Big Government to Make Wages Fairer

John Ransom
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Posted: Feb 02, 2012 12:01 AM

Obama and Romney are getting really good at this.

They just wave their hand and the rest of us fall into line.

Both of them recently unveiled huge new proposed government mandates aimed at making government a bigger player in the masterpiece economy that Big Government Inc. has given us, in these, the waning days of the Boomer generation.

Obama’s working on solving the whole "real estate" crisis and Romney’s working on solving the whole "fairness" crisis.  

Obama’s mandate was to banks.

“President Barack Obama proposed to let more homeowners take advantage of today's record-low interest rates and expand federal programs to borrowers with mortgages not funded through government entities Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac and the FHA,” writes Fox Business. “Under that program, the FHA would likely guarantee the new loans.”

You mean all we have to do is let the government guarantee more bad loans?

Gee, I never would have thought of that. I bet you wouldn’t have tjhought of it either. That why He's president.  

Obama wants banks to start loaning money to people who can’t afford their houses.

Obama figures in this way he can solve the problem the government created when they forced banks to start loaning money to people who couldn’t afford their houses to begin with.

Obama and the government are currently suing banks who lent money to people who couldn’t afford it, and apparently- surprise- that plan’s not working. Banks aren’t loaning money, despite the punishment that’s being meted out by the government for doing what the government asked.

People who can’t afford houses got the economic lesson that politicians are avoiding, and- guess what?- they  aren’t applying for mortgages.

So Big Government Inc.’s interim CEO, Barack Obama, has a new scheme.

He is going to tax banks- and ultimately you- that he just sued for loaning money to people who couldn’t afford it, so that the feds can have a slush-fund to work from so banks can loan money to people who can’t afford it.

I know, I know: You are confused. But don’t worry, the forensic accountants will be just as confused in the end.

And really, for Big Government Inc. that’s all that matters.  

CEO-in-Waiting Mitt Romney’s government mandate is much, much broader.

He wants to make employers give automatic pay raises that are tied to inflation to all employees at the minimum wage level.

“Republican presidential contender Mitt Romney renewed his support Wednesday for automatic increases in the federal minimum wage to keep pace with inflation,” reports the Associated Press via Newsday, “a position sharply at odds with traditional GOP business allies, conservatives and the party's senior lawmakers. ‘I haven't changed my thoughts on that,’ the former Massachusetts governor told reporters aboard his chartered campaign plane, referring to a stand he has held for a decade.”

And guess who gets to decide what inflation is?

The same geniuses who decided to index Social Security increases to the “cost of living.”

Romney wants to make automatic what Congress wouldn’t have the guts to do if they had to vote on it every time.

Hurray for Mitt! Maybe he can apply the same logic to the debt ceiling? I never would have thought of that. And I guess you wouldn't have either. That's why Mitt's president presumptive.

Government workers, union flacks and people with municipal waste contracts are smiling. What Gov. Scott Walker of Wisconsin got us, Romney just gave away.

Neither Republican Speaker of the House, John Boehner, nor Republican Senate Minority leader, Senator Mitch McConnell were available to comment on Romney’s proposal, which is at odds with the GOP small business community, the big business community, Wall Street, manufacturers, grocers, free market economists, Ronald Reagan, the laws of physics and common sense outside of the enclave of Boston Common and Martha’s Vineyard.  

Expect moments of silence amongst congressional Republicans to become more common either as a sign of mourning or suppressed anger as Mitt becomes more presumptive.

After all, Romney’s the guy that Florida just crowned as President Presumptive, which being Florida, they only got half right.       

Good thing that Mitt’s been there to save us from Newt Gingrich’s worry about right-wing social engineering.

Great news folks: The social engineering gets to continue unimpeded from the left or the right no matter who wins the presidency.

Now all we have to do is figure out how you will pay for it.

I have a hunch: If it’s Obama who wins it will be cash and if it’s Mitt who wins it will be credit.  


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