John Ransom

Note: This article orginally appeared on October 28th, 2011

Occupy Wall Street is descending rapidly into a caricature of the Orwellian farce on which it was predicated: Animal Farm.

"Never mind the milk, comrades!" cried Napoleon, placing himself in front of the buckets. "That will be attended to. The harvest is more important. Comrade Snowball will lead the way. I shall follow in a few minutes. Forward, comrades! The hay is waiting."

So the animals trooped down to the hayfield to begin the harvest, and when they came back in the evening it was noticed that the milk had disappeared. - Animal Farm, Chapter II

Volunteers who are preparing redistributed food for the OWSers are going on a mini-strike because the one percent in New York City who is unlucky enough not to have a roof over their head has been muscling in on the redistributive bounty of OWS.

“The Occupy Wall Street volunteer kitchen staff launched a ‘counter’ revolution yesterday,” reports the New York Post, “because they’re angry about working 18-hour days to provide food for ‘professional homeless’ people and ex-cons masquerading as protesters.”

What a bunch of Kulaks, those homeless! You know? As opposed to the “true” homeless of the Occupy Wall Street crowd who have to live in their parents’ basements until they get a job. 

I guess it takes one professional con man to know another. But I thought Occupy Wall Street was about helping the dispossessed, the homeless or people about to become homeless? Once you go “pro” as homeless, apparently, you don’t qualify for all the perks and benefits that the amateur homeless get. Or maybe the professional homeless don’t belong to the right union.

Which reminds me: How do you tell the difference between a professional OWS protestor and an ex-con? One of them is an ex-con.

The bounty for the professional protestors bravely occupying Wall Street so the rest of us can get up early and go to work and pay the rent, includes “organic chicken and vegetables, spaghetti bolognese, and roasted beet and sheep’s-milk-cheese salad,” says the Post.

Well, after seeing the menu that they put up with, I can only thank God there is someone out there stupid enough to protest those bastards on Wall Street who made everyone “homeless” by trying to trick everyone into buying homes to live in.  


John Ransom

John Ransom is the Finance Editor for Townhall Finance.
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