John Ransom

Barack Obama continued his stirring “It’s All Your Fault” campaign tour this week scolding crowds in New York, Ohio, Washington, DC and people on the West Bank and in Israel for not doing their jobs.

It seems that citizens around the world are screwing up what otherwise would have been a fun-filled four years of taxpayers’ subsidized vacations for Barry and Michelle. And Obama is hoping that will change.

“[I]f you love me, you've got to help me pass this bill," said Obama two weeks ago as he kicked off the desperation reelection tour. He was scolding a crowd in North Carolina about doing a homework assignment for him involving lobbying for his new tax increase.

He needs all the help he can get. He’s been down this road before and it’s not worked out so well.

Congress stopped listening to him last November as he led the Democrats to electoral defeat during the “It’s All the Tea Party’s Fault” inaugural tour

The fallout was Obama’s last budget proposal, which included similar schemes as this new tax increase he’s proposing. That budget got zero votes in the Senate.

Good job slackers.

Think of that; not one Senate Democrat voted his budget. The SETI Institute has been re-tasked to search for votes from any life form in the known universe for this new tax increase.

Waiting; waiting; waiting…

Don’t you feel ashamed now that you didn’t help Obama pass his budget? It was only the single most important document that a president creates every year. Thanks a lot.

Not. One. Vote. How dare you?

Well according to CBSNews, he’s not letting people off as easily this time around. He’s not going to let you slackers idly worship him as the single greatest president in the history of MSNBC without you showing some elbow grease for his efforts.  

"For those of you who did skip class today, I've got a homework assignment for you," continued Obama, "tell your Congress person that the time for gridlock and games is over; the time for action is now…. You can write a letter. When was the last time you did that?"

Very innovative strategy from the Obama administration: getting sixth-graders to write lobbying letters to Congress. “Did you pass it yet? Did you pass it yet? Did you pass it yet? Did you pass it yet?” They might get one vote from an annoyed John McCain.

My guess is that most people have written more letters in the last three years than Obama has passed budgets. Good going Citizens of America. Way to make our president look bad by writing both of those letters.

“Take off your bedroom slippers. Put on your marching shoes,” Obama demanded of the Congressional Black Caucus over the weekend. The Caucus has been restless, pointing out that blacks are a lot worse off under Obama’s presidency than they were under Bush.

Bunch of ingrates. Don’t they know he’s the greatest Nobel prize winner of all time, trumping Al Gore, Jimmy Carter and Yasser Arafat in HuffPo mentions?  Combined.

What do people expect? Jobs?

“Shake it off. Stop complainin’. Stop grumblin’. Stop cryin’,” Obama continued. “We are going to press on. We have work to do.” 

Obama’s preferred working/marching shoes are size 11.5 D golf spikes. No bedroom slippers for him.

And there’s one thing that a man gets a lot of time for when he's being driven from hole to hole by Secret Service agents while playing golf on Martha’s Vineyard.

That man has time to think.

And that time leads one to an inescapable conclusion:

Newsweek could feature President Cain’s image on the January 2013 Inauguration issue under the title: “We’re All Racists Now.”

And it’s all your fault. 


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John Ransom

John Ransom is the Finance Editor for Townhall Finance.
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