As a business humor writer, Bob Goldman believes that his readers should skyrocket ahead in their careers and make tons of money. What sets Bob apart is his belief that his readers should have these advantages without going to trouble of actually having to do any work. Toward this end, he provides the practical tips and attitude adjustments that guarantee laughter, if not financial success.
Born in White Plains, N.Y., Bob graduated from Colorado College. Using the writing skills he honed while not doing any schoolwork, he crafted an essay that gained him admission to the prestigious University of Chicago School of Business. Intent on proving his success-without-effort philosophy, Bob ended his first semester with four F's and one D, prompting his adviser to comment, "You obviously spent too much time on one subject." Sensing that his gifts might be better applied to the practical world of business, Bob left the ivory tower to become a successful advertising copywriter at huge multinational firms in whose bureaucratic superstructure he always found a place to hang his hat--and his hammock.
In between writing ads for detergent and computers, he found time to write articles for The New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, GQ and Rolling Stone. His column, Work Daze, is a finger in the eye for business blowhards and boardroom braggarts.
The father of three children, Bob lives near San Francisco in a newly remodeled house for which he will be paying for many happy decades to come.
You're a modest person, I know, but you have to admit -- there is one thing that you do better than anyone else. That's doing nothing.
Let's face it -- for overachievers like us, it is simply not acceptable to fail in our chosen careers.
Considering how awful a job can be, it's difficult to imagine that so many young people are out there actually looking for work. Seems to me it would be so much easier to be born with a trust fund. Even more surprising -- apparently, many of the boys and girls who are putting their young lives -- and their young resumes -- on the line, are not being snapped up.
When it comes to criticism, it is better to give than to receive. Or so I've been told. Frankly, when it comes to criticism, I'm usually the one on the receiving end.
Let's be honest here -- it's not easy being perfect.
If you enjoyed the financial meltdown of 2007, I've got good news. The Wall Street denizens, who we admired for their ability to take enormous risks with our money, as long as they were insured enormous profits on their money, have turned a new leaf.
It's sad. Used to be, you'd spend 50 weeks a year waiting for your vacation -- two blissful weeks without ringing telephones, raging bosses, insane assignments, bottomless responsibilities, weirdo co-workers, and life-threatening paper cuts. Now, you don't get two weeks vacation and 50 weeks work. Now, you get 52 weeks of vacation and, if you can squeeze in a day or two of work, well, what kind of sucker are you?
Really, I don't know what's wrong with young people these days.
Consider yourself warned!
Remember when bosses were demanding and distant? Remember when your greatest wish was for your supervisor to give you an "attaboy!" or an "attagirl!" or to simply remember your name?
It isn't often that I have a good idea, but when I get one -- it's a doozy.
It isn't often that I have a good idea, but when I get one -- it's a doozy. My latest mega-brainstorm hit when I was reading a Steven Rosenbush article in "The Wall Street Journal." Titled "Homeowners Tap the Income in Their Homes," the article explains how ordinary folks are turning spare rooms into spare cash by offering short-term rentals in their homes.
Admit it! If there's one thing you've always wanted to do, it's exude. And I don't blame you. Exuding is cool. Especially, if what you are exuding is success.
The bottom line -- don't sit there doing nothing. Go see your supervisor and demand a shorter workweek and a big fat raise.
The words that you slip into your resume are why your dream job is going to give you the slip. But don't take my word for it. These resume-busting ideas come from Hannah Hamilton, and the provocative, evocative article she wrote for her Monster masters at the Monster website.