Apparently, everyone is wrong about you. Your co-workers think you are an anti-social, lazy, hostile weirdo. Not so. What you are is an anti-social, lazy, hostile weirdo introvert. And introverts are hot.
At least, they're hot in The Huffington Post, where a simple search of "introvert" will bring up a plethora of articles about people who like people, as long as they don't have to have anything to do with them.
The introvert article that caught my eye was by Carolyn Gregoire. Titled "An Introvert's Guide to Surviving (And Thriving) in the Workplace," Ms. Gregoire opines, "offices can be particularly difficult environments to navigate for introverts, who gain energy and generally feel their most productive in quiet and solitude -- and the constant stimulation and social interactions can be taxing."
It really breaks your heart, doesn't it? It just makes me sad to think that I'm living in a world where not everyone is enjoying the non-stop joy that comes from spending days, weeks, years and decades trapped in a soul-killing office full of annoying co-workers and abusive supervisors.
Equally shocking is the revelation that introverts don't enjoy meetings. As Gregoire points out, research has shown that "over-stimulation and excessive meetings can easily stunt their full brain power." Personally, I wish that research could find any meeting that is even mildly stimulating. That is a meeting I want to attend.
Fortunately, there is a resource for introverts, which can help them cope with life in an extroverted workplace. "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking," by Susan Cain, offers a number of tips for "navigating the workplace as an introvert." And since I'm so darn extroverted it hurts, allow me to intrude into your personal space to share.
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