Bob Goldman
Do you hate your job? Are you filled with revulsion when you think about your work? If the answer to these questions is, "yes, yes, a thousand times, yes," then let me congratulate you. You're more connected to your job than 70 percent of Americans.

That's right! By hating your job, you have an emotional connection to your work. It's a negative connection, true, but it's a connection all the same. Seventy percent of your co-workers do not feel negative or positive or anything. They're zombies, marching through the workday without a thought in their heads. "Walking automatons," author Steven Rosenfeld calls this somnambulistic majority. They're "people not feeling emotional ties to what they do and sizeable numbers actively seeking to sabotage their colleagues and managers."

Mr. Rosenfeld shows how much he is involved with the terminally uninvolved in a recent article in AlterNet. He reports on the latest Gallup "State of the Workforce" survey in which the sad emotional state of the American workforce was revealed. (Is it better in France? I don't know, but at least workers there get to wear jaunty berets.)

Digging into the statistics, the gloomy report gets even bleaker. The total zombie 70 percent can be broken down into 52 percent who are "emotionally disconnected." They don't give a damn. But then there is the 18 percent who are "actively disengaged." They don't give a damn, but they are working hard to make things worse.

According to the snoops at Gallup, "actively disengaged employees aren't just unhappy at work; they're busy acting out their unhappiness. Every day, these workers undermine what their engaged coworkers accomplish."

(Does this mean Gallup knows you've been encouraging your co-workers to spend their workdays playing games on your Xbox, which you run off the battery in your boss' Tesla? Probably so, but don't worry -- 70 percent of Gallup employees are also emotionally disconnected, so no one cares enough to spill the beans.)

When it comes to a demographic breakdown of the workers who have broken down, it is clearly a story of the young and disconnected. "Educated young men appear to be the least committed to their employer," Rosenfeld says Gallup says. This shouldn't come as a great surprise. Young men often have trouble making a commitment, as someone who has watched all six seasons of "The Bachelor" can tell you.

And that "educated" part doesn't help either. Be honest now -- wouldn't you be much happier in your job if you were just a little bit more stupid?

Bob Goldman

Bob Goldman is a business humor writer.

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