Bob Goldman

Those of you who have been keeping score know that I recently wrote about a very revealing self-help book titled, "Congratulations...You're Hired." What set this tome apart was that the authors were self-confessed "Human Resources Professionals."

If the thrill of a HR Director tell-all sets your heart a flutter, you'll be happy to hear a companion volume is available; it's a prequel, really, titled "Congratulations...You Aced the Interview."

Once again, we have to thank Patricia D. Sadar, Senior Professional in Human Resources; Certified Human Resources Executive; Masters in Business Administration; for exposing what life is like on the other side of the interviewer's desk. Interestingly, she has a new collaborator for this volume, Pete Drolet. Drolet has no letters after his name, which suggests to me that he is not a joiner. Or, maybe, he tried to be a SPHR, CHRE, MBA, but failed to ace his interview.

No matter. According the book cover, this slim volume is the "must read interview guide to land the job of your dreams." Once again, the authors adopt an autobahn analogy, offering "five roads to your destination," complete with traffic signs, parking areas and the "Fast Lane to the Truth." (Given our current economy, I'm surprised there is no "car-pool lane to the unemployment office." Perhaps that will be in their next book, "Congratulations...Your Job is Moving to Moldavia.")

Based on the insider information provided, it is instantly clear that the tiny brains of HR professionals are focused on the minutia of the interview process. I'm not saying there's anything wrong when you "ensure that your hair-style and jewelry are conservative and non-distracting," but it certainly suggests that for all his smarts, ain't nobody going to hire Albert Einstein.

"Clean and polish your shoes," is another insider tip. "The shoes you select should be business-like and in a solid, neutral color that complements your suit." I suppose this means you won't be wearing your lavender, leopard-skin Louboutins with the five-inch heels, despite being the first guy in the department to score a pair.

Frankly, the idea of spending hours navigating the thorny problems of shoe selection is so daunting that I suggest you don't wear any shoes at all. Of course, you should feel free to clean and polish your feet.

Bob Goldman

Bob Goldman is a business humor writer.

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