Apparently, the existence of a ailing wife and two kids in college could make a difference when deciding whether to fire a 20-something hotshot, or a totally shot 50-year-old. The lesson here is clearly visible, even with cataracts. It doesn't matter if you're highly competent and highly effective in your job. The key to survival in today's rough and tumble working world is to be totally pathetic.
Go ahead! Drag out your aging spouse, preferably in a worn bathrobe and Scuffies. March your impossibly needy children through the cafeteria, so everyone can see the effects of malnutrition. If you don't have repulsive children or a pathetic spouse, rent some. You might even add a flea-bitten dog to the mix. Fido will add just the perfect soupcon of pathos as the family unit sets up camp outside your parking garage, cooking government cheese over a campfire made of office furniture.
Another survival tip from another expert, author Bruce Tulgan, is to demonstrate your commitment to your employer. "This is really a great time to come in early, stay late, dot your i's and cross your t's." In other words, you could start working really hard, or, in your case, simply start working.
I think we can both agree that is not going to happen.
A better idea unearthed in Mattioli's reporting is from Marks, the San Francisco State professor, who suggests that, young or old, you have a better chance to survive if you form a bond with a senior manager. The idea here is that when layoffs are scheduled, "it doesn't hurt to have someone in the executive conference room on your side."
This is probably true, but if my choice is between getting canned and getting chummy with some overstuffed, under-brained executive, I'll take getting canned. Being unemployed is no fun, but the company is better.
