Create an Attractive Package: Kaputa rightly reports that attractive people "are viewed as being smarter and more competent," but I do believe she errs in suggesting that women have "naturally better instincts, as well as more 'visual aids' to work with than men do." You don't have to be female to "accentuate your best features," as you prove every day with a hairpiece that says to management that you are an out-of-the-box thinker. How else could they explain a man who wears a squirrel on his head? And don't be afraid to develop your natural gift for accessorizing. Remember -- a Kegerator goes with everything, especially if it comes from Gucci.
Be Likable: Kaputa believes women have a gift for "compassion, empathy and intuition," which translates into a higher level of likability, "a key asset in the workplace." This is clearly wrong. How many hours have you spent watching "The Hills"? Sure, the girls are compassionate, but you don't really like them -- except for Audrina, of course.
Besides, who says likability is an important element to success? Look at your management team. Is there one iota of likeableness in the entire bunch?
Here is where men have a real advantage. You can stay the uncompassionate, un-empathetic, unintuitive jerk you really are, but hide all your natural unlikability behind an image of feminine friendliness and caring and sharing. That way, when you strike, no one will expect it!
Sure, it's a lot of work to be a girlie man, but if the price of succeeding in this rotten economy is a touch of blusher and a pair of Manolo Blahniks, I say, pay it.
