And what about the genius at a New York advertising agency who discovered that if he turned his computer monitor away from the doorway, no one could see that all the pounding on his computer keyboard did not represent hard work, but hard times. The reason for the "furrowed brow and the studious squint" was not job-related, Hoffman reveals, but reflected the pressure of keeping up with frenetic bidding on eBay.
I am willing to give props to anyone who is trying to look busy by buying and selling Star Wars action figures online, but as a highly evolved Cyberloafer, you know the most effective way to spend your online auction time is by selling your company's office furniture. That way, when the business goes bankrupt, you've already cashed in.
According to the article, most workers who feel they are in job jeopardy resort to the basics -- they try to look busy by doing busywork. Like archeologists exploring a tomb, they slowly study old files, revive old contacts, review and revise ancient memos. As a result, they not only look busy, which is good, but they clean up their desks, which is an employment death sentence. As one misguided worker put it, "I have a clear desk blotter. It's completely neat."
Except, of course, for the letter of separation that is sure to show up the minute her boss has visual proof that she has no work to do. That's why I'm sure my new business idea is not only going to save my job, but make me a fortune! I'm going to be constantly working, night and day, selling overstuffed, generic work files online. They'll be available in tattered file folders, complete with coffee stains. Just scatter these bad boys across your desktop and, trust me, you'll have a job for life!
