But get this -- even this most natural response to a bad review apparently represents inappropriate workplace behavior. According to Paul Shrivastava, professor of management at Bucknell University, employees should take 24 hours to "digest the feedback they received in a negative review."
"Generally, when we get bad news, we need some time alone to marinate in it and let the gravity of the feedback sink in," Professor Shrivastava teaches. "It's probably a good idea to give yourself time to process the review before you react, just so you don't do something you might regret."
In other words, even our response to a bad review gets a bad review.
I am all for marinating, and have a most excellent recipe for a marinade. The ingredients are gin, vermouth and an olive, chilled to the temperature of a HR person's heart. Still, I believe that nothing can save your job, or demonstrate your willingness to change, better than a good, wrenching cry, especially when delivered on your knees, your face buried in the hem of your manager's dress, with your gasping promises to do better -- to be better! -- echoing up and down the halls of Mahogany Row.
This technique, in fact, is so effective that many experienced survivors of bad reviews suggest breaking into inconsolable weeping the moment your manager enters the room.
Perhaps the most surprising fact columnist Villano exposes is the existence of individuals so clueless that they wonder if it is advisable to question one's manager's conclusions. In case you harbor any such feelings, let me be the first to tell you --- the person who signs your paycheck is always right. Perhaps if you had remembered that simple fact of workplace life, you wouldn't be getting a bad review in the first place.
That's why I say - turn on the waterworks and hope for the best. And if an emotional breakdown doesn't work, all you can do is hope that your boss needs someone to detail his Bentley.
