Almost every time I turn on Fox News, some random Republican is talking about deficit spending, tax codes, beneficiary information and all the technical aspects of Obamacare and the economy—while over on CNN and MSNBC, Democrats are grunting their usual (insipid) mantras: “Hope, Good! Forward, Good! Republicans--BAD!”
I first started noticing our extreme differences in messaging this March when I attended the Road to Repeal Rally in DC.
We were all assembled on the steps of the Supreme Court building. On one side were the ‘unicorns and rainbow’ union sheep—accompanied by a bongo player, no less--marching around in circles bleating, “We love Obamacare!” and “Healthcare is a human right!” and “Jesus was a socialist!”
On the other side, the Tea Party folks were passionately shouting things like, “Read the Constitution because it is the only thing that will save this country!” and “Obamacare hurts the free market system!” and that catchiest of chants, “Health care costs will increase by about $311 billion through 2019!” (Okay, they didn’t actually chant that last one, but you get the message…)
If the other side had been listening to the Tea Partiers, I think they would have collectively said, “Huh? You want me to read what? And just where is this ‘free’ market?”
Comparing the differences, I finally understood why so many Democrats remain Democrat no matter how unreasonable and unintelligent it may seem.
In food terms, Republicans are the healthy (yet boring and tedious) meat, potatoes and vegetables of a meal. They are there to nourish, and to keep you strong and fit. Although Republicans represent the most responsible and important part of the meal, they’re nothing to really get excited about--unlike the sugary, yummy excesses of dessert.
Which is exactly the part of the meal that Democrats symbolize.
Ah, dessert. It’s what most children would rather eat first, skipping the “healthy” portions altogether.
Children don’t care about nutrients, vitamins, minerals—they just want the stuff that tastes good in their mouths. They don’t care how it’s made, who made it, how it got there--they just want it in front of them so they can scarf it all down. Or as Veruca Salt famously said in Willie Wonka, “I want it and I want it NOW!”
In real-life terms, Republicans will talk a thing to death, providing details and data and reasonable, logical facts while Democrats thrive on as few words and sentences as humanly possible: Things are fine! Go Green!