Q. My manager asked me to commit verbally to staying with the company for at least another two years and offered nothing in return. I told him I had no plans to leave but honestly could not make that commitment. Based on his reactions, I'm worried I may be demoted or not get a raise. How can I handle this, and was it appropriate for my manager to ask?

A. In business anyone can ask for almost anything, but getting it is another matter. People spend a lot of time (and money) learning high-level communication skills because they want to be able to get what they want from others.

Rather than asking if your manager's question was appropriate, you can ask if it was a successful negotiation. I think you've already figured out that a good deal always involves both parties winning. Your boss offered a deal where he wins and you get nothing.

If you read this column regularly, you know being a wizard of words can help you out of many tight spots in and out of the workplace. For instance, when your boss asked you to verbally commit, you could have said, "Yes, right now I am planning to stay for the next two years."

You could then follow up and ask your boss to fill you in on the business reasons for his question. When a boss asks this kind of question, he or she is usually worried about a problem that you don't know about.

A basic assumption in business is that any product (including you) will be sold to the highest bidder. Believe me, if your boss got a fantastic offer from another company, he probably run over you in his enthusiasm to get out the door. Also be keenly aware that if your company found it useful to let you go, they wouldn't hesitate to terminate your employment.

In business, if a boss or organization values you so highly that they want to guarantee your continued services, they have you sign a contract and pay you handsomely. Don't be emotionally blackmailed into thinking you have to offer undying loyalty when you are receiving nothing in return.

As you can see, these moments at work are where honesty is not the best policy. The truth is you do plan right now to stay for the next two years. Your plan to stay will remain until and unless you get a better offer. I would simply suggest you are not required to share the information about the better offer.

It's been said that diplomacy is telling someone to go to hell in a way that makes them look forward to the trip. You can give your boss the comfort of knowing you plan to stay without feeling obligated to turn down better offers.

The last word(s)

Q. Why do some people rant and rave to get their way?

A. Because it works on most people. If you don't like it, make sure ranting doesn't work with you!