When the Democrats took James Carville’s advice to attack Rush Limbaugh, it made perfect sense. Some people thought it was intended to distract us from the fact that Obama was spending money faster than the Monopoly Company could print it. I, on the other hand, believed it was setting us up for the passage of the so-called Fairness Doctrine. But in either case, it was a good strategy because, however you feel about Mr. Limbaugh, he rather closely resembles the way editorial cartoonists used to depict evil, over-fed, cigar-smoking capitalists.

The thing is, Limbaugh would never deny being a capitalist. However, those on the left who support Obama’s desire to redistribute wealth by bleeding the wealthy and nationalizing every damn thing he can lay his hands on, have a major hissy fit anytime you call them socialists or communists.

To make matters worse, every time a guest on Bill O’Reilly’s show refers to President Obama as a socialist, O’Reilly slaps them down. He never bothers to tell them why they’re wrong, never points out the distinction between, say, Barack Obama and Hugo Chavez. He simply denies it, sounding for all the world like a slightly less cranky John McLaughlin.

All I can figure out is that O’Reilly wants to be sure the IRS doesn’t audit him for each of the next four years.

Recently, I wondered if Obama would ever make good on his campaign promise to the kids to get them a dog if he won the election or whether, like his promises to bring transparency to the White House, to post impending legislation on the Internet for five days before taking a vote, to keep cheats and scoundrels out of his administration and to banish lobbyists and earmarks from Washington, it was just another big, fat fib. One of my readers, Linda Turner, wrote in to say that the Obamas are expecting the arrival of the First Dog in April. She said the reason for the delay was that their initial choice wasn’t able to make the final cut. It seems he had some unresolved tax problems.

It did occur to me recently that half a century ago, Khrushchev announced that socialism would bury capitalism. It seems he was right. We were worried about the Soviet Union, but, like the French with their Maginot Line, which they assumed would keep Germany at bay, only to find that the Nazis went around it by first invading Belgium, capitalist America lost the war, although nary a bomb was dropped or a shot fired. We simply trooped out like lemmings and elected a left-wing community organizer who speaks in the dulcet tones of a radio announcer and thinks like a Vladimir Lenin hand puppet.

Today, I heard the latest pronouncement from our glorious leader, the great and powerful Oz. He said he didn’t want Americans whipsawed by bursts of either bad or good news, and that he was highly optimistic about our economic future. Oddly enough, yesterday he announced that this was the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression.

So the way I figure it, in order to avoid being whipsawed, the secret is to only listen to Obama on either odd or even days of the week.