In the same vein, you definitely want to ask No. 8, "Is my (medical condition) covered under your insurance?" and hope the answer is no. Unless you want to spend 12 hours a day working, the last thing you need is for some hotshot Dr. House curing your narcolepsy, your panic attacks and your kleptomania.

Ryan suggests that Question No. 9, "Do you do a drug test?" could be interpreted as "I'd fail a drug test." This is true, but she misses an important point. Drug-testing procedures are costly, and your prospective employer could appreciate the fact that you could save them this expense. That's why I suggest that along with your resume, you bring your bong. I'm not promoting drug use, but encouraging the hiring manager to take a few hits could make the interview go a lot smoother.

Non-Question No. 3, "When will I be eligible for a raise?" is considered risky because it suggests that you are dissatisfied with your starting salary, even before you start. I think it's OK because it suggests you will be an aggressive overachiever. Just be sure to follow it up with a few more questions, like "Now?" and "How about now?" and "Is now too soon?"

Questions No. 4 and No. 5, "Do you have any other jobs available?" and "How soon can I transfer to another position?" doom you to a speedy rejection, writes Ryan, because "almost every employer will want to keep you in your seat for at least one year before approving an internal transfer, so a job-search bait-and-switch probably won't work out the way you hoped."

I disagree. If you actually want the job, playing hard to get by demonstrating your total lack of interest in the position is catnip to hiring managers, especially HR types who are so downtrodden and unhappy that they'll leap at the opportunity to hire you.

Misery loves company, they say, but take it from me -- companies also love misery.